The end of an era (well... okay not really).

My, how the past two weeks have flown by quicker that I could've ever possibly imagined. Between all of the exams, the paper writing, and the incessant feelings of "tomorrow is never going to come fast enough, is it?" and "I just woke up. Is today done yet?" I couldn't have imagined the past two weeks going any faster than the have. Tomorrow is my last sort of full day in the country I've (sometimes begrudgingly) called home for the past four months. There have been many, many downs, and many ups in these four months, and I think I've grown in a way that I didn't quite expect myself to. I was having really, really mixed feelings about leaving a few weeks ago, and I pretty much was really stressed out over how I felt overall about the experience (which I had deduced as at many points, far from fantastic) and I ranted the ears off several people many times.


After explaining how I felt, which was that I didn't feel like I belonged here, and that it was a waste because I am not going to come back saying I absolutely loved everything about it and I never wanted to leave (because let's be honest, I kept a count-down after there was 90 days left). And I realized that I felt bad for saying that I want to go home, there’s -- days left, and getting frowny faces on statuses from other study abroad kids who desperately wanted nothing more than to stay right here, when all I want to do is leave, and go home to where I know I belong.

I feel like I was mislead when I made my decision to come here. I love the country, it really is a beautiful country with powerful every-day people. But I didn’t get to experience real Egypt like I thought I would. I don’t know if I’ll come back, at least to Cairo, and I doubt I’ll ever come back to AUC again. I look at the kids from my home institution in other programs, like the DIS Program in Denmark, and people who were in Italy, Spain, all over Europe, and how they’ve traveled to seven other countries or how much I desperately wanted to stay in Athens, and realize that I’m jealous! I realized how there could be someone else in my place who would’ve appreciated and enjoyed the experiences a lot more than I have, and who would come home saying that that’s where they knew they belong.

So I ranted to Rose, whom I love to death and gets an honorary mention in this blog post. I have our conversation saved. Here is the bit that really matters:

“Hallas! Stop. Stop this RIDICULOUSNESS right this INSTANCE! You got a totally unique opportunity. You didn’t pick an easy country. You didn’t take the ‘guaranteed good time’ European route. You went for it all.”

“I did. The majority of it didn’t turn out well though.”

“You want to be an archaeologist. Seriously. Stop. You are coming out of this experience SOOO much stronger. You made this choice for YOU. Not for someone else. And you grew as a result. Honestly.”

“… Thank you. <3”

“The middle east is soooo different and soooo hard to really enjoy. (You’re welcome) and you’re going to be able to go back and say ‘Yeah, I lived in Egypt during their elections. I was there when there was rioting in Tahrir. I learned about a group of people I would have never understood if I hadn’t lived there. And wanting to be an archaeologist.’ Isn’t it better to find out now that living in Egypt isn’t something you want, rather than in a career, when you’d have to suffer through a contract that could last years. Or quit. Think about it.”

“That’s true.”

“SOOO EFFING GOOD! You have so much to come away from this experience with. And it’s not that ‘omg remember that time I spent hundreds of dollars to go to a country and drink away my memories kind of thing’, it’s a ‘I lived a CHALLENGE. A REAL one. I lived in Egypt during the revolutionary stage. I’m a fucking badass.”

Rose  made me realize just how much I’ve really changed. I’m sort of a pansy, but I did things here I never expected I’d do. I stuck up for myself. I struck bargains with people I hardly know on something I wanted. I learned about a people I had never really been interested in. And I got my foot in the door. I spent three weeks pulling my hair out, dealing with people in America, in banks, trying to sort out all of my lost-wallet issues, on my own (for the most part. All of the hard work, anyway). From a thousand miles away. And yeah, I cried. I got frustrated. I lost it. I was grumpy, irritable, and one would’ve thought I was suffering from mood-swings. But I did it.

I changed in four months more than I could’ve imagined. I met friends that I never would have had the chance of meeting, and absolutely loved my amazing roommate Amelia who also gets a name-drop in this post. I trusted my life to people that are simply amazing, and because of a few special courses (in an institution that overall was the whole reason for the damper on my experience) that held a bit of light had new opportunities presented to me (first grad class in Archaeology, as an undergraduate) and opened my eyes to what I had previously not understood at all.

Combined with being over here for what some Egyptians call "the second revolution", my course on Zionism and Modern Judaism, though I griped and complained about it (as I have the tendency to do with everything) helped me understand the situation between Israel and Palestine. I've become super sensitive to this issue now, in accordance with any issue concerning the Middle East. Not every Muslim is a bad person. Not everyone who practices Islam has intentions of hurting others. Not every Palestinian is brought up to hate. Not every Israeli has America's best intentions in mind. I don't see a veil when I look at someone anymore and think "Oh, they're different" (yes, I know, people do do this, I'm guilty of it myself sometimes) now I see someone who is just like me, but with far better color coordination and fashion skills than I could ever hope for (seriously - veils that match every. single. outfit). 

I've seen amazing people do amazing things, and I've seen stupid people do stupid things, and corrupted people hurt their fellow country-men. As I said my goodbyes to ISA on Sunday, Amal was begging me to come back, or at least call or email her, and Nancy said "you were a part of history". How right she is.

Throughout this semester, I've also noticed some peculiar things about friends I've previously had, and how much things have changed through the long run. To sink so low as to de-friend me, that's cool. It's so amusing, I really don't care. It just has made me realize how much I've changed versus how much others change, and which paths we take. And I'm completely okay with that. :)

So. Aside from all the philosophical mushynonsensicalness. Here's what I've been up to post-finals. Packing LOTS AND LOTS OF IT. And being all nervous for when I go through customs where, if I'll have enough time, what if I get delayed, what if I get snowed in, what if I miss a flight... You know. The usual. I absolutely love the flying part. Love love love love love love. I love planes. It's just.

The in between part.

That's the issue.

Aside from that we went exploring to a couple of churches in Coptic Cairo the other day! We visited the Hanging Church, Church of St. George, Church of the Virgin Mary, and a cemetery.

Miriam, Me, and Cat at the Hanging Church

The Hanging Church

On the way inside the Hanging Church

Church of St. George

Inside the Church of St. George

Flowers in the Greek Orthodox cemetery

At the Greek Orthodox Cemetery

So that was nice and fun. I wanted to find the Ben Ezra Synagogue, which was somewhere in the area and where the Cairo Geniza (the largest deposit of medieval manuscripts in one area, all Jewish) used to be before it was cleared out by the British and the Russians. Unfortunately, we didn't stray off the main road, so we didn't get to it. =( Then, we went to Khan el Khalili, twice. The first time was rather stressful for me. It was gaining towards the evening again, and the hassling is still difficult. But the second time we went earlier, and it was fantastic! Amelia is like, awesome at her Arabic, and because of her we got some amazing deals, and all of us finished our shopping lists full of gifts and all sorts of things. I pulled away with some awesome things, and can't wait to give them to people!

Tomorrow we're going to the Egyptian Museum one more time in the early morning (avoiding traffic and any chance at uproars in Tahrir) - all I'm really interested in seeing is the Mummy Room. I have to pull out my last set of money for the day (just to make sure I have enough to get in and then buy food and just in case sort of deal in case Ross and I need a cab if our shuttle doesn't show up). Then tomorrow night, we're headed to the airport at 10:00 pm and catching a 1:00 flight to Amsterdam.

I'm super nervous about the in between parts of flying. Everything that could possibly go wrong has been floating about in my head for about a week. I think I'm more worried to fly home than I was flying here! Flying here, I was excited, but I was sort of in a stupor and didn't even recognize that I was in another country until far, far after I had landed in my final destination.

Hopefully, insha'allah, things will go well on my flight home.

I'm afraid this will be the last post then! It sort of wraps everything up for good. Maybe I'll post one more time after I'm home with pictures from the museum and how the flight went, etc. But until then, see you on the flip side.

Here's to 23 hours of traveling ahead of me! And then home! Ilhamdoulilah!