The end of an era (well... okay not really).

My, how the past two weeks have flown by quicker that I could've ever possibly imagined. Between all of the exams, the paper writing, and the incessant feelings of "tomorrow is never going to come fast enough, is it?" and "I just woke up. Is today done yet?" I couldn't have imagined the past two weeks going any faster than the have. Tomorrow is my last sort of full day in the country I've (sometimes begrudgingly) called home for the past four months. There have been many, many downs, and many ups in these four months, and I think I've grown in a way that I didn't quite expect myself to. I was having really, really mixed feelings about leaving a few weeks ago, and I pretty much was really stressed out over how I felt overall about the experience (which I had deduced as at many points, far from fantastic) and I ranted the ears off several people many times.


After explaining how I felt, which was that I didn't feel like I belonged here, and that it was a waste because I am not going to come back saying I absolutely loved everything about it and I never wanted to leave (because let's be honest, I kept a count-down after there was 90 days left). And I realized that I felt bad for saying that I want to go home, there’s -- days left, and getting frowny faces on statuses from other study abroad kids who desperately wanted nothing more than to stay right here, when all I want to do is leave, and go home to where I know I belong.

I feel like I was mislead when I made my decision to come here. I love the country, it really is a beautiful country with powerful every-day people. But I didn’t get to experience real Egypt like I thought I would. I don’t know if I’ll come back, at least to Cairo, and I doubt I’ll ever come back to AUC again. I look at the kids from my home institution in other programs, like the DIS Program in Denmark, and people who were in Italy, Spain, all over Europe, and how they’ve traveled to seven other countries or how much I desperately wanted to stay in Athens, and realize that I’m jealous! I realized how there could be someone else in my place who would’ve appreciated and enjoyed the experiences a lot more than I have, and who would come home saying that that’s where they knew they belong.

So I ranted to Rose, whom I love to death and gets an honorary mention in this blog post. I have our conversation saved. Here is the bit that really matters:

“Hallas! Stop. Stop this RIDICULOUSNESS right this INSTANCE! You got a totally unique opportunity. You didn’t pick an easy country. You didn’t take the ‘guaranteed good time’ European route. You went for it all.”

“I did. The majority of it didn’t turn out well though.”

“You want to be an archaeologist. Seriously. Stop. You are coming out of this experience SOOO much stronger. You made this choice for YOU. Not for someone else. And you grew as a result. Honestly.”

“… Thank you. <3”

“The middle east is soooo different and soooo hard to really enjoy. (You’re welcome) and you’re going to be able to go back and say ‘Yeah, I lived in Egypt during their elections. I was there when there was rioting in Tahrir. I learned about a group of people I would have never understood if I hadn’t lived there. And wanting to be an archaeologist.’ Isn’t it better to find out now that living in Egypt isn’t something you want, rather than in a career, when you’d have to suffer through a contract that could last years. Or quit. Think about it.”

“That’s true.”

“SOOO EFFING GOOD! You have so much to come away from this experience with. And it’s not that ‘omg remember that time I spent hundreds of dollars to go to a country and drink away my memories kind of thing’, it’s a ‘I lived a CHALLENGE. A REAL one. I lived in Egypt during the revolutionary stage. I’m a fucking badass.”

Rose  made me realize just how much I’ve really changed. I’m sort of a pansy, but I did things here I never expected I’d do. I stuck up for myself. I struck bargains with people I hardly know on something I wanted. I learned about a people I had never really been interested in. And I got my foot in the door. I spent three weeks pulling my hair out, dealing with people in America, in banks, trying to sort out all of my lost-wallet issues, on my own (for the most part. All of the hard work, anyway). From a thousand miles away. And yeah, I cried. I got frustrated. I lost it. I was grumpy, irritable, and one would’ve thought I was suffering from mood-swings. But I did it.

I changed in four months more than I could’ve imagined. I met friends that I never would have had the chance of meeting, and absolutely loved my amazing roommate Amelia who also gets a name-drop in this post. I trusted my life to people that are simply amazing, and because of a few special courses (in an institution that overall was the whole reason for the damper on my experience) that held a bit of light had new opportunities presented to me (first grad class in Archaeology, as an undergraduate) and opened my eyes to what I had previously not understood at all.

Combined with being over here for what some Egyptians call "the second revolution", my course on Zionism and Modern Judaism, though I griped and complained about it (as I have the tendency to do with everything) helped me understand the situation between Israel and Palestine. I've become super sensitive to this issue now, in accordance with any issue concerning the Middle East. Not every Muslim is a bad person. Not everyone who practices Islam has intentions of hurting others. Not every Palestinian is brought up to hate. Not every Israeli has America's best intentions in mind. I don't see a veil when I look at someone anymore and think "Oh, they're different" (yes, I know, people do do this, I'm guilty of it myself sometimes) now I see someone who is just like me, but with far better color coordination and fashion skills than I could ever hope for (seriously - veils that match every. single. outfit). 

I've seen amazing people do amazing things, and I've seen stupid people do stupid things, and corrupted people hurt their fellow country-men. As I said my goodbyes to ISA on Sunday, Amal was begging me to come back, or at least call or email her, and Nancy said "you were a part of history". How right she is.

Throughout this semester, I've also noticed some peculiar things about friends I've previously had, and how much things have changed through the long run. To sink so low as to de-friend me, that's cool. It's so amusing, I really don't care. It just has made me realize how much I've changed versus how much others change, and which paths we take. And I'm completely okay with that. :)

So. Aside from all the philosophical mushynonsensicalness. Here's what I've been up to post-finals. Packing LOTS AND LOTS OF IT. And being all nervous for when I go through customs where, if I'll have enough time, what if I get delayed, what if I get snowed in, what if I miss a flight... You know. The usual. I absolutely love the flying part. Love love love love love love. I love planes. It's just.

The in between part.

That's the issue.

Aside from that we went exploring to a couple of churches in Coptic Cairo the other day! We visited the Hanging Church, Church of St. George, Church of the Virgin Mary, and a cemetery.

Miriam, Me, and Cat at the Hanging Church

The Hanging Church

On the way inside the Hanging Church

Church of St. George

Inside the Church of St. George

Flowers in the Greek Orthodox cemetery

At the Greek Orthodox Cemetery

So that was nice and fun. I wanted to find the Ben Ezra Synagogue, which was somewhere in the area and where the Cairo Geniza (the largest deposit of medieval manuscripts in one area, all Jewish) used to be before it was cleared out by the British and the Russians. Unfortunately, we didn't stray off the main road, so we didn't get to it. =( Then, we went to Khan el Khalili, twice. The first time was rather stressful for me. It was gaining towards the evening again, and the hassling is still difficult. But the second time we went earlier, and it was fantastic! Amelia is like, awesome at her Arabic, and because of her we got some amazing deals, and all of us finished our shopping lists full of gifts and all sorts of things. I pulled away with some awesome things, and can't wait to give them to people!

Tomorrow we're going to the Egyptian Museum one more time in the early morning (avoiding traffic and any chance at uproars in Tahrir) - all I'm really interested in seeing is the Mummy Room. I have to pull out my last set of money for the day (just to make sure I have enough to get in and then buy food and just in case sort of deal in case Ross and I need a cab if our shuttle doesn't show up). Then tomorrow night, we're headed to the airport at 10:00 pm and catching a 1:00 flight to Amsterdam.

I'm super nervous about the in between parts of flying. Everything that could possibly go wrong has been floating about in my head for about a week. I think I'm more worried to fly home than I was flying here! Flying here, I was excited, but I was sort of in a stupor and didn't even recognize that I was in another country until far, far after I had landed in my final destination.

Hopefully, insha'allah, things will go well on my flight home.

I'm afraid this will be the last post then! It sort of wraps everything up for good. Maybe I'll post one more time after I'm home with pictures from the museum and how the flight went, etc. But until then, see you on the flip side.

Here's to 23 hours of traveling ahead of me! And then home! Ilhamdoulilah! 

Single digits!

Yep. It's been about twelve days since I've last written. Apologies for that. In my defense, finals have actually provided me with legitimate work for a while. In those twelve days, not much happened. ISA had a Christmas lunch on Thursday which involved lots and lots of the foreigners on campus, listening to Christmas music, in the middle of sunny Cairene desert in New Cairo, eating gingerbread cookies, cupcakes, cheesecake, and all of the holiday essentials together. It was pretty awesome. I got to see/talk to Nancy and Amal again (two of the ISA workers who helped me retrieve my wallet just about three months ago) and of course Nancy pushed a cupcake upon me as I left to go to my anthropology class. "I'm stuffed."

"Take it for later! Put it in the fridge!" "I don't have a fridge!" "Take it for the road!" So I took one. "Now, eat the cupcake. Bye!"

Since twelve days ago, I've finished writing my paper on Jewish memory post-Holocaust in Europe and in Israel for my Zionism and Modern Judaism course, I've taken my exam for said class, and now what I have left is another paper on the role of women in Iran, my presentation for said paper, a Hieroglyphs exam, and an art and architecture exam. I'm not to worried about art and architecture, but glyphs is my issue. The way the course was taught to me was not entirely helpful for my learning style. It's really fun when we do group work in class and I can actually figure out what stuff means and read the glyphs themselves (who would've thought that I can actually read those previously ambiguous pictures! It doesn't really say 'left facing bird, circle, square, triangle, pyramid' but an actual word!) but when I have to do the exercises, which are a lot harder than what she puts on the tests and what not (except for last quiz, what the heck?!) I get sort of frustrated.

And I hate Egyptian verbs.

Anyway. Yesterday, Amelia and I went to get gelato for breakfast (not as good as Greece, and I'm sure still not as good as an Italian gelato would be, coughAlexcough) and I got one that was 'vanilla and chocolate' but was REALLY vanilla with Nutella. Yep. We had decided the night before to reward ourselves as such, and on the way to get gelato, we stopped at a shoe store for Amelia to look at shoes, and then we went into two bookstores and get this - I walked out without buying a single book. The only thing I got was a packet of 24 really cool stamps from all over Egypt for 8 LE!

I proceeded to get groceries, and then finished my paper by around seven thirty last night and then rewarded myself again by playing Sims 3. It seems so odd not to have legitimate homework or reading and just finals to study for and papers to write. And then when I look on Facebook and see friends who are also abroad this semester and their countdown to go home, I remember that I get to go home too, eventually, though later than everyone else.

First to arrive, last to leave, I suppose. A full four months.

There are a lot of mixed feelings that I'm feeling about being here and leaving, mostly concerning whether or not I've figured out if I truly felt like I belonged here this entire time (don't worry, not angsty anymore, thanks to Rose and her speech she gave me when I expressed my troubles) but I think I'll save that bit of my blog for either the day before I go home, or afterwards. Regardless, I have four days after my art and architecture final to explore, and some days in between Thursday and Sunday also to explore. We plan on hitting up some Mosques, Khan-el-Khalili (possibly several times?), Coptic Cairo (I really want to see the sight of the Ben Ezra Synagogue where the Geniza (massive depository of old Jewish documents) used to be but no longer is (sadface... primarily the fault of the Russians and British). And some other sights as well.

I'm sure these eight days will go fast. (Actually, I'm hoping the fifteen hours of flying, six hour layover in Amsterdam, and customs go faster!)

And that's kind of what I'm hoping for in a very large way! I will miss how everything here is so cheap. I'm going to get back home and freak out that soda costs one dollar. "SIX POUNDS?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! I PAY 2.75 LE FOR THAT!"

Yep. It's gonna be good.

Drawing to a close.

So it's been a long time since I last wrote, and a lot has happened. If you were keeping up with the things going on here in Egypt over the past week or two, you'll know that three AUC study abroad students were arrested in Tahrir Square and accused of throwing molotov cocktails or having materials to make them at the Ministry of Interior and Police (so the government run news says). I know two of them. You'll also have known that they were kept in detainment for a while, and that the three were eventually released without charges and deported home. Two have been on the Today show, and despite everyone's stories of what could have happened or what would have happened, I still don't know what to think anymore. For a while I was afraid that I was going to get sent home, along with every other student here under an American institution in the states. I've never felt more uneasy. Needless to say I have successfully experienced the Revolution at it's highest since January. I've been completely safe, though I've witnessed via television and heard stories of fantastic strength and unity displayed by those protesting for their rights in Tahrir Square every day. So I can check living under a suspicious government off my list of things I've never felt before along with illiteracy and being a minority.

You'll also have known that things calmed down for a few days, due to the fact that Egypt had it's first "free" democratic parliamentary elections on the 28th and 29th of November. There are lots of things floating around about the complexity of the elections themselves, and I'm not the best person to try and explain it, but all I know is that things DID kick up in Tahrir the day after the 29th. It kind of reverted back to the way it was in Tahrir for a while. Things are as quiet as they can be, currently.

Another thing - because of all this, my plan to see the sunrise at Mt. Sinai on the Sinai penninsula and see St. Catherine's monastery were foiled. I'm rather saddened by it.

However! Instead of going out to Sinai, we tried to take advantage of our abnormally long break over Thanksgiving (what with the chaos that was the three students in Tahrir and Tahrir getting really bad for a few days), by going to Giza one last time and riding the camels. Yes. I finally rode a camel. Now, family, you can all leave me alone! :)

Pictorial Evidence:

Ashley and I with Ginger (her real name was Daisy), Ross and Cat 

with Bob Marley, and Nick and Miriam with Moses.

However, while we were waiting for Nick, Ashley, and Cat (who had a really bad cab ride that took two hours when it should've taken fifteen minutes), Ross, Miriam and I wandered around. We found the fossilized sea cow (manatee) that I was shown last time I was at Giza for a field trip, and then wandered into the Slaves tombs and even found the builder's tomb. To the right is a picture of me exploring a little niche on our way to dodge the camel-selling guys and through the smaller mastabas and tombs. Seriously. The camel guys followed us everywhere and would not leave us alone! That's one thing I'm really not going to miss when I go home. The badgering, the incessant badgering. They kept telling us things that we already knew. We live here. We've been living here for three months (20 days left as I write this)! We've been here before. Just... just go away! Goodness! I swear I'm going to walk into stores at home and be amazed that no one bothers me (except for in department stores... I'll have to try really hard not to be snippity with them) and I'm probably going to freak out when no one follows me home asking for money. It's just what they do here...

But anyway, it was seriously two hours of them badgering. I was really grumpy and frustrated with them, and when we finally rode the camels, one of the owner's called me "angry-lady". Yep. That's me. I was very angry and short tempered with them. I think being here has caused me to grow some thick-skin (and perfecting my witch-with-a-b-please face). 

Then on Friday, my roommate Amelia, and some of our friends went to Cairo Tower on Zamalek where we live to view what would be called Martyr Friday from above. Oh. My. God. The smog. Mom, I may need an inhaler when I come home!

Cairo Tower

Tahrir Square from Cairo Tower

The swanky side of Zamalek and SMOOOOG.

Sunset in the Smog. Woo, lung cancer!

It really wasn't the best day to go out and spend 70 l.e. going up and seeing everything, but it was good for seeing Tahrir. Anything further than that was pointless (i.e. the pyramids were just faint little lines until the sunset, then they were slightly less faint lines). Sunday we had class, but then Monday was off in addition to Tuesday because of elections.

Then schoolwork finally kicked up. You know how hard it is to actually care about your work when you've basically done next to nothing all semester? Really. Really. Hard. I've never felt this way about school before, and I don't desire to feel this way about school. I was always that kid who was super excited for school! I love it. I hope when I come back to Gettysburg, my work ethic is restored!

Speaking of Gettysburg, I can't wait to come home. Yes, I have a bit of sadness in me for leaving here. It's a great country. I do like it here. I'm just not meant to live here like some are. I don't think I could handle it. But that's what study abroad is all about, yeah? Finding out about yourself. I've found a great masters program while I've been here online in England, close to the Scottish border. I'm absolutely in love with it. I think that's where I belong. Maybe someday I'll come back to Egypt and do all the things I won't get to do (i.e. Sinai, Black and White Desert, spend more time in Alexandria) right now because of time. There's twenty days left. I keep thinking about things I miss from home (mainly food, i.e. - grilled cheese, Swiss Miss hot chocolate, cheesecake, MILK!, garlic bread, lots and lots of nice cold fruit like grapes, bigger cartons of juice, cinnamon toast, iced tea, and of course Servo cookies!) and things other than food. Like my giant stack of books. My puppy. My bed. Oh and I guess my little brother ;). I did get an email, on a tangent, from Professor Hendon about a field school in Italy for three weeks in the summer. I still really really want to go one day to a field school, but this was just poor timing. I already have a job for the summer (I'm going to be an intern at Appomattox National Park in the middle of nowhere Virginia!) and it's so expensive!

Anyway, I'm expecting these next twenty days to go by really fast. At least, part of me really hopes they do. I've got a lot of work to get done before final exams (of which I have three, and then one presentation) and then a week to do nothing, get some shopping done, pack and go home!